Choose one former colleague who works near your target role and send a short message containing one specific question. Make the question easy to answer from their experience, rather than asking generally for job leads or advice.
This works because people can respond more easily to a focused prompt. It also gives your contact a clear reason to reply and helps you learn how the role operates before you apply. The goal is not to ask for a referral in the first message; it is to start a useful professional conversation.
Choose the right person
Look through former teammates, managers, classmates, clients, or project partners. Pick someone who understands the type of work you want or works in an industry you are researching. Choose a person you can contact honestly and comfortably, even if you have not spoken recently.
Write one answerable question
Base the question on something concrete: a skill that appears repeatedly in job descriptions, a common first assignment, or a difference between two related roles. Avoid questions that require your contact to write a long explanation.
Good questions include:
- “Which part of your weekly work takes the most time?”
- “What skill helped you become effective in this role during your first few months?”
- “When you review candidates for this type of position, what evidence is most useful?”
Use a brief personal reminder so the message does not feel copied. Mention where you worked together or what you appreciated about their work.
Send a short message
Keep the first message to a few sentences. State what you are exploring, ask one question, and make it clear that a brief reply is enough. Do not attach your resume unless they request it.
For example:
“Hi Maya, I hope you’re doing well. I’m exploring customer operations roles after working on support reporting at Northline, and I remembered how clearly you handled the weekly service reviews. In your experience, which skill matters most during the first three months in customer operations? Even a short answer would help me focus my preparation. Thanks.”
Use the response well
Reply by acknowledging the specific advice and explaining one action you will take. If your contact mentions a tool, process, or skill, research it or look for a small way to practice it. After that, you can ask one natural follow-up question, but do not turn the exchange immediately into a request for a referral.
If there is no reply, wait about a week and send one polite follow-up. Then stop and preserve the relationship rather than sending repeated reminders.
Takeaway: Start networking conversations by asking one focused question that your contact can answer from direct experience.